“Fête-i-quette”: a hybrid of party (en francais) + etiquette.  It is our fresh, light-hearted, reinvigorated, 21^st century interpretation of age-old traditions.

If you have to travel a long way for a wedding (fly, put yourself up, etc.), it is ever OK to skimp on or skip the gift?  I mean, the costs add up!

Dear Blue Traveler,

Yes.  Just because your friends are high rollers doesn’t mean you are too!  The bride and groom might think that they are doing you a favor by giving you the opportunity to travel to Maui…or Peoria, but they also have to understand that you are sacrificing a great deal to be there on their wedding day.  Your vacation days and your hard earned income (assuming you are one of the lucky ones to have a job in this economy) are clearly not limitless, nor is your expected financial expenditure for the sake of their union.

If the airfare and hotel room haven’t broken your bank, and you still have some cash to spare for a gift, it’s okay to opt for the coffee maker, as opposed to the Versace china place setting.  And if there is nothing reasonable on their registry that is within your means, do something small and thoughtful—e.g. customized his and her flip flops if it’s a beach destination, or a map and a compass for their Parisian honeymoon.  Above all, they should understand and appreciate that your presence is a present of the most meaningful sort.