“Fête-i-quette”: a hybrid of party (en francais) + etiquette.  It is our fresh, light-hearted, reinvigorated, 21^st century interpretation of age-old traditions.

What’s making you fret?  Submit it to fête-i-quette: blog@nonpareilevents.com

Last year, my good friend got engaged, and then called off the wedding 3 months before the date.  Meanwhile, I and the other 4 best friends/bridesmaids had purchased our $300 hideous bridesmaid dresses and we were stuck with them.  Said friend then got engaged again to same guy 1 year later.  Now there is a whole new wedding party except for me, and the bride’s sister AND suddenly I have been appointed as the maid of dishonor.  Now we have new, different bridesmaid dresses, the wedding is to take place in a barn in the middle of no where, a 15 minute drive from any hotel, and there is no option for a bus, cab or shuttle from the wedding to town…disaster waiting to happen?  I think so!

AND–the bachelorette party is fully planned.  Friend was saying that it would be a small party with just 5 girls, but really it is becoming a full production of 15 random annoying girls.

AND–I have yet to see a wedding invite or save the date…and it’s a destination wedding 3 months away…and the bride just texted me for my address (I am the maid of honor and best friend, and have lived in the same place for 8 years!)  Worried for everyone else.  What can I do?!

Dear Maid of Dishonor,

Run.  FAST.  Get out while you can.  For the love of god this girl is a hot mess.

Seriously, sounds like your friend should have consulted us, but that’s a moot point now.  Your over-expenditure on two dresses seems to be the least of your worries now.  Your friend needs to get organized!

As a longtime friend, you are in the position to give her some stern advice…such as, ‘hey friend, how’s your Aunt Cassie with the hollow leg going to get home from the wedding?’  Or, maybe a little more blunt: ‘You need to send your invitations out or no one will come to your wedding’.  Common sense to the rest of us…  Good luck!

“Fête-i-quette”: a hybrid of party (en francais) + etiquette.  It is our fresh, light-hearted, reinvigorated, 21^st century interpretation of age-old traditions.

If you have to travel a long way for a wedding (fly, put yourself up, etc.), it is ever OK to skimp on or skip the gift?  I mean, the costs add up!

Dear Blue Traveler,

Yes.  Just because your friends are high rollers doesn’t mean you are too!  The bride and groom might think that they are doing you a favor by giving you the opportunity to travel to Maui…or Peoria, but they also have to understand that you are sacrificing a great deal to be there on their wedding day.  Your vacation days and your hard earned income (assuming you are one of the lucky ones to have a job in this economy) are clearly not limitless, nor is your expected financial expenditure for the sake of their union.

If the airfare and hotel room haven’t broken your bank, and you still have some cash to spare for a gift, it’s okay to opt for the coffee maker, as opposed to the Versace china place setting.  And if there is nothing reasonable on their registry that is within your means, do something small and thoughtful—e.g. customized his and her flip flops if it’s a beach destination, or a map and a compass for their Parisian honeymoon.  Above all, they should understand and appreciate that your presence is a present of the most meaningful sort.