***********************************************************************************************************************

“Fête-i-quette”: a hybrid of party (en français) + etiquette.  It is our fresh, light-hearted, reinvigorated, 21^st century interpretation of age-old traditions.

***********************************************************************************************************************

We did the honeymoon registry for our wedding.  Is that bad?  Some magazines said it was cool, but I don’t know.  We just didn’t need anything for our home, so we didn’t want tangible gifts.

-Plenty of Pots and pans

Dear Plenty of pots and pans,

Yes, that is fine, and it has become more popular over the years to have these sort of custom registries.  Some people even register for increments of a down payment on their home.

I understand.  I’m 30 and single.  I have finally given in, and started to purchase nice wine glasses (yup, they all match now!), a le crueset pot, and (finally!) a cuisinart food processor.  By the time I get married, I might have a fully stocked kitchen, so I could possibly go the same route.  In addition, I live to travel, and would love a fund to fuel my passion for seeing the world.  I’m currently drooling over pictures of South America, my next destination.  But I digress….

At the same time, the unconventional registries can have a negative connotation.  Some people question the end use of gifted funds, or think that couples who use these registries are tacky, money-grubbing, or too cheap to pay for their own honeymoon.  Personally, I would like to know that my gift actually paid for what I purchased.  Therefore, in your thank you note, mention the kayaking trip in New Zealand, the dinner in Paris, or whatever the specific gift was.  That way I would know that you didn’t just stay home and splurge on some Manolos.  Plus, I would get to live vicariously through your adventures

***********************************************************************************************************************

What’s making you fret?  Submit it to fête-i-quette: blog@nonpareilevents.com

***********************************************************************************************************************

“Fête-i-quette”: a hybrid of party (en francais) + etiquette.  It is our fresh, light-hearted, reinvigorated, 21^st century interpretation of age-old traditions.

If you have to travel a long way for a wedding (fly, put yourself up, etc.), it is ever OK to skimp on or skip the gift?  I mean, the costs add up!

Dear Blue Traveler,

Yes.  Just because your friends are high rollers doesn’t mean you are too!  The bride and groom might think that they are doing you a favor by giving you the opportunity to travel to Maui…or Peoria, but they also have to understand that you are sacrificing a great deal to be there on their wedding day.  Your vacation days and your hard earned income (assuming you are one of the lucky ones to have a job in this economy) are clearly not limitless, nor is your expected financial expenditure for the sake of their union.

If the airfare and hotel room haven’t broken your bank, and you still have some cash to spare for a gift, it’s okay to opt for the coffee maker, as opposed to the Versace china place setting.  And if there is nothing reasonable on their registry that is within your means, do something small and thoughtful—e.g. customized his and her flip flops if it’s a beach destination, or a map and a compass for their Parisian honeymoon.  Above all, they should understand and appreciate that your presence is a present of the most meaningful sort.